Explaining self-harm to myself: a conversation

The fiend explains it as
a subliminal experience,
to make me lose myself
within the labyrinth
and fragments of my own head.

My conscience tells me
that my blood equates addiction,
I don’t want to die,
I am just addicted to pain,
so my suffering defines my mental
or instability.

At 3 AM, the fiend
counts all the reasons to stay awake,
starts romanticizing the moon
as a sacred entity
with its round and shape-shifting
and tells me that I, too,
am a moon.

My conscience drags me
to the other side of yesterday,
a brighter side of tomorrow,
tells me I have all the
beautiful time in this world,
tells me I am more than
I perceive myself to be.

I tell myself,
over and over,
to listen, and listen quietly
to my own heartbeat,
give me a reason
to not mourn in its silence,
but rather breathe in its
boastful thump.
I tell myself,

-Taru Gupta

I wrote this in the wake of recent suicides. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so be kind. Know that you are not the only one suffering, there are many others who are going through something similar too, many others who are willing to listen to you. So talk it out. It gets better once you start talking. I am here too. I care about each and every one of you, and I am willing to listen and talk. DM me on Instagram, just CLICK HERE

Suicide prevention hotlines  is a link that will direct you to a page that has an international list of suicide prevention hotlines. Reach out to these if you are feeling triggered. Reach out to your friends, family, therapist. I know the present might feel like a dark place, but if you trust someone with your feelings, you will find your way out.

Thank you for reading. Like, share, comment your thoughts and follow my blog for more poetry.


8 thoughts on “Explaining self-harm to myself: a conversation

    • I am glad it helped you. It does take courage to write about any emotion, some more than others, but all need to be let out in their right time. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, as cliche as it sounds, there is. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, I am here if you ever want to talk.

      Liked by 1 person

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